“I am wondering if I lost something in the whittling down of this blurb.”
If you’ve gotta ask…
From that sentence alone, I know author David Wozniak totally knew in his heart of hearts what would happened when he cut his 200-word blurb to his 50-word elevator pitch and sent it into our merciless canary claws. The skies grew dark, women wailed in the streets, old men grew sorrowful and still.
Because, let’s face it, there’s nothing harder than trying to distill the essence of a 50,000+ word story into a few pithy sentences.
But let’s back up and take a look at David’s elevator pitch:
“Each year, Master Voider Democryos sends his brightest student into the war-torn countryside to work magic. But when the young Lady Marine leaves him for another man, he finds his own life ravaged. Forsaking the comfort of the citadel, he seeks to find her–not to gain her back, but to gain understanding.
Nothing goes as planned.”
First thought: The fewer words, the more each word matters.
In such a short piece, every word carries huge weight. Protip: Avoid using words that have no meaning to the reader. An easy example of this is “Master Voider” – I don’t know what it is, and that’s distracting. Continue reading