[ Pitch Slapped ] If It’s a Duck, It Needs to Quack Like a Duck

If it’s a Duck…

This here is a duck.

…then it needs to quack like one.

Mark Glamack is the author of a children’s story about a group of five Littluns on an adventure. From the story summary, it’s clear we have a powerful evil, an artifact of power, and a quest to save the world before it’s too late.

So what’s holding this blurb back? Well, for one thing, it doesn’t look like it’s written to grab the imagination of a kid browsing the library shelves. While a pitch might be directed at an agent, parent, or some other adult, it must also be keyed at the target audience. It needs to be the kind of book a parent (or publisher) would pick up off a shelf for his son. ┬áThis blurb makes the mistake of speaking vague, abstract terms about unavoidable “results and consequences” and trials that “could not have been anticipated or even imagined” which takes it miles away from what matters–the story appeal and its plot.

Tenant of writing a blurb: Ye Shall Not Be Vague

Let’s take a look at the blurb itself: Continue reading