Tag Archives: humor

Today’s Book Blurb

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So much for being a good Samaritan.

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Ethan Flynn is pretty useless in the African bush but at least he knows how to do CPR . . . and that’s when he finds out you shouldn’t do it on a witch. The one he just rescued from drowning says she switched places with his cousin and now Ethan has sucked up all her magical powers, leaving her too weak to switch back again.

It must be true. Joe has vanished into thin air, Ethan’s feeling all unhinged, and the old woman’s leopard is communicating its thoughts straight into his head.

– Switch! The Lost Kingdoms of Karibu by Karen Prince

Today’s Book Blurb

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It’s the demon in the toilet bowl that always gets you…
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It’s never a good day when an ancient demon shows up on your toilet bowl. For Lizzie Brown, that’s just the beginning. Soon her hyperactive terrier starts talking, and her long-lost biker witch Grandma is hurling Smuckers jars filled with magic. Just when she thinks she’s seen it all, Lizzie learns she’s a demon slayer — and all hell is after her.

Of course, that’s not the only thing after her. Dimitri Kallinikos, a devastatingly handsome shape-shifting griffin needs Lizzie to slay a demon of his own. But how do you talk a girl you’ve never met into going straight to the underworld? Lie. And if that doesn’t work, how dangerous could a little seduction be…?

– The Accidental Demon Slayer (Demon Slayer #1) by Angie Fox

A Reader’s Guide: The seven things you should never sacrifice for your job

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Work demands a lot from us. Sometimes too much. Here are the seven places where you need to draw the line in the sand. And then set the line on fire. And buy a couple crocodiles to guard it for you.

1. Your value. You may work in the non-profit world, or maybe your company is stingy as hell. Don’t undersell yourself. Be your own advocate. Demand fair compensation for the value you’re bringing to your company. The bigger your paycheck, the more you can spend on books. Hardcovers don’t grow on your bookshelves, you know.

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2. You commuting time. This is you-time. Sure, you could prepare for that morning meeting. But that’s what those five minutes waiting for Mike to join are for. Use the 40 minutes on the bus or metro to squeeze in another couple chapters, or pop in an audiobook in your car.

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Today’s Book Blurb: A unicorn and dinosaur walk into a plot

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This one was submitted as a review request. We don’t do children’s books, but I couldn’t resist passing along the book description.

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“Azaria, a unicorn colt, is intrigued when the young, clairvoyant dinosaur, Darius, foresees a terrifying change to their world.”

– The Legacy (The Shadow of the Unicorn #1) by Suzanne de Montigny

Today’s Book Blurb: Life is hard

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Oh the puns. The puns. They’re daring me to pick this book up off the shelf.

Must. Resist.

 

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“Suddenly desperate, the inexperienced ex-rich girl was forced to take the only job she could get: as a tour guide in a cemetery. But a grave situation took a turn for the worse when a head-on collision with a headstone left her with an unwanted ability to communicate with the disgruntled deceased . . . and now Pepper has a whacked Mafia don demanding that she hunt down his killers — and threatening to haunt her until she does.”

– Don of the Dead (Pepper Martin #1) by Casey Daniels

8 famous book characters who were originally written as cats

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1. Edward Cullen from the Twilight Series

In the first draft of Stephanie Meyer’s famous book, romantic interest Edward Cullen was originally conceived as a semi-feral cat that Bella finds under her car in the school parking lot and tries to tame and take home. In subsequent revisions, Edward was transformed into a vampire, but many of the original, feline-oriented scenes were left in the final publication.

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2. Bilbo Baggins from The Hobbit

Tolkien is well known for his extensive world-building notes. A recently discovered journal reveals that the great author originally planned to have the Shire populated by cats. It was only after he finished developing his other Middle Earth races that he changed the name of his Shire-dwellers from “feline” to the more original-sounding “hobbits.” Over the next few years, other changes followed so that today, the only remnant of Bilbo Baggins The Orange Tabby is the character’s catlike stealth and dislike of change.

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Credit: SuperFan Builds

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Today’s Book Blurb: Kinda want to read this

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This is one of the those where no book will ever compare to what you make up in your head.
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“In a world nearly identical to ours, the North won the Civil War, Ben Affleck is the sexiest man alive, and Russia never sold Alaska to the U.S. Instead, Alaska is a rough, beautiful country ruled by a famously eccentric royal family, and urgently in need of a bride for the Crown Prince. But they have no idea what they’re in for when they offer the job to a feisty commoner.”

– The Royal Treatment (Alaskan Royal Family #1) by MaryJanice Davidson

Five places I do not want to go for a destination wedding

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5. Mordor from Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien

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Since the bestselling travelogue and memoir Lord of the Rings came out, Mordor’s reputation has quickly skyrocketed from obscure natural orc reserve known only to the truly dedicated, to a must-go travel destination found on nearly every bucket list.

Well known for its stable weather patterns, battle reenactments, nightly light shows, and bubbling volcano-heated hot springs, Mordor provides a dramatic backdrop to a couple looking for a picturesque setting for their wedding.  Barad-dûr, known as the Dark Tower to the locals, boasts the area’s highest vantage point and is a natural go-to spot for a photo-op. For an even better view, charter an eagle flight for the afternoon.

Couples looking for the adventure of travel with the trappings of civilization will enjoy the comfort of big-name hotels and wealth of direct flights to Mordor. Applying for a marriage license is easy; present proof of citizenship, your length of stay, and marital status. A local goblin clerk can process your request overnight.

 

4. Shayol Ghul from The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan

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Credit: The Last Battle / Aradani Studios

For those looking for the scenic drama of Mordor without the lines, Shayol Ghul is an excellent choice. Located at the core of the Blasted Lands and inaccessible by land due to the vast expanse of the Great Blight, Shayol Ghul has remained accessible only through a small airline, specialized to take on the local weather. That said, the layer of fog and constant lightning across the Blasted Lands is perfect for couples looking to enjoy a night club atmosphere. Continue reading →

Today’s Book Blurb: The name should have tipped you off.

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“Broken Heart is the city with the highest rate of divorce and highest percentage of single parents in Oklahoma. And I, Jessica Matthews, have been a member of that club ever since my husband dumped me for his twentysomething secretary and then had the gall to die in a car accident. Now I’m not just a single mother trying to make ends meet in this crazy world.”
– I’m the Vampire, That’s Why (Broken Heart #1) by Michele Bardsley