First started by Madison Woods, here is the reader-feedback Pitch pecking series, “Vote for it”. Every week, we give out blog over to a 25-word elevator pitch sent in by authors. Readers of our blog have the opportunity to vote for whether the 25-word blurb makes them curious or not about the book. Would they buy it?
“Authors, what we’re measuring is reader interpretation. What does someone think of your book when they read your short blurb? Does it make them want to buy it or at least read further? Editors and publishers may look at these blurbs differently, but ultimately, they’re readers too.” (Madison Woods)
So what happens now? Read the pitch/blurb below and then vote if you think you’d be interested enough buy the book. Though the voting is anonymous, leave a comment and help the author get a sense of what’s working and what isn’t!
Reminder: Please only vote if you can be objective about the quality of the blurb. Don’t vote ‘No’ because you don’t read or if you’re flat-out not a fan of the genre or type of book.
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Title: God Bless The Dead Author: Evan Geller
Genre: contemporary fiction
___“The truth will not set you free. The truth will get you killed.”
When Gabriel invents a technology to read minds, his wife cannot escape her past.
Share your thoughts, canaries! Would you read it?
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If you too want to put your 25-word elevator pitch to the test, send us your blurb (of 25 words of less) to canarypost@gmail.com with the subject line: “25 word pitch.” But be warned, 25 word summaries are tricky little blighters! And surprisingly hard to write.
And keep an eye out for more pitch peckings, to be posted on Thursdays!
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Some more links of interest:
- Madison Wood’s Original “Would you buy it?” series
- Canary Pitch Slaps – for step by step breakdown of pitches
- Fantasy author’s David B. Coe thoughts on writing the elevator pitch
The Book Canaries 
I wonder whether you can get away with cutting the first bit of the quote and just leaving the second section (“The truth will get you killed”) before diving into the meat of the story. The shorter version of the quote will still set the mood, but it’ll give you more elbow room to expand on the pitch–which is where the stuff I want to know more about is! I’m also curious about what exactly I’d be getting into in terms of genre. Contemporary fiction could mean so many things…
Good point. Cut the “cliches” short – spend more time with what actually relates to the story. Makes total sense. Yes, a little more story-specific detail might do it.
I might even shorten it further, to:
When Gabriel invents a technology to read minds, his wife cannot escape her past. And the truth will get her killed.
It takes out the cliche, quotes, & awkward 2nd person POV, and it gives the author more time to elaborate– I had to read this half a dozen times to see how the new technology and Gabriel’s wife were connected, but that might just be me.
My impression is that Gabriel’s wife’s past would effect both of them. The blurb indicates that the technology impacts only her. However, what effects one in a relationship, will effect the other somewhere in consciousness/being. The blurb severs that which is fundamentally joined. Perhaps something like, “Mind reading can kill your marriage. And maybe your wife, too.”
I liked the quote, make me smile. The actual summary line later about Gabriel and his wife – I was intrigued cus I’m generally interested in these kinda themes, but truth be told it’s so ordinary that I’ll probably give the first few pages a glance and if it didn’t hook me immediately I’d put it down. It’s just been done so many times, that theme/line of “he/she cannot escape his/her past”. Doesn’t mean it’s not good, but it’s ordinary for sure.
Like it and all the suggestions. Cool idea. It is hard to write a short blurb,found that out writing queries. But got it now 🙂